What the duck

I’m walking along a road and a duck is walking beside me.

It’s making a noise but doesn’t sound duck like, more like a human grunt.

Then it speaks:

“Oh for fuck sake.”

Shocked, I grab my girlfriend’s camera, it is really heavy and bendy like rubber. I’m trying really hard not to drop it as I try to record a video of the duck who keeps talking; it seems pissed off about something.

“Jesus Christ!” it says.

We are on our way somewhere and need to be there so can’t follow the duck as he turns a corner but I still film him walking away as he continues to make fed up remarks.

“This is absolutely ridiculous.” I hear him say faintly in the distance.

Me, Inga, and Mike are sitting around a table; Mike is on his phone. I slip Inga a note.

‘Ask Mike to upload the images to Instagram, otherwise he’ll never learn.’ the note says.

Mike ignores her and walks away and starts asking people if they know any good Jazz bands.

I then decide to print the images of the duck.

I press print but there is an error message. I walk into the printer room and the printer is floating in the middle of the room but is disassembled. The rest of the parts are scattered around the room and my dad seems to be trying to fix them.

“If the brother calls, tell him we can do the sandwiches for free for the funeral.” he says.

Confused, I don’t respond to the request and just ask him to put the printer back together because I need to print the images. The room starts to spin and I’m desperately trying to hold onto a chair before being flung off.

As I walk back to the computer to print again I get a phone call from a very famous football player’s brother (don’t feel comfortable mentioning his name).

“Hi this *****’s brother just calling about the pizzas for the funeral.”

I now realised that the football player had died and the brother is calling to arrange funeral food.

Although I am extremely shocked that this football player has died, I seem more concerned that my dad agreed free sandwiches and not free pizzas.

(Every time I dream I am on the phone, the person on the other end says one sentence and then responds with just one word to everything I say and I always feels like I’m talking out loud out of my dream)

Trying to speak quietly so I don’t speak loudly in my bed, I am basically speaking nonsense in a whisper because I don’t know what to say. He then stops speaking and so do I; we are now both not saying anything and I’m holding a phone in silence.