Drunk Canada loving Tyler and some crazy Russians

My brother Adam is staying the night at our friend Tyler’s house. We haven’t seen Tyler since moving back to England 14 years ago. Adam phones me and tells me they’re playing all the fun games we used to play at sleep overs; I can’t join them because I’m at work.

He asks me if I want to go with them to the £1 photo shoot they’re going to tomorrow but I can’t, again because of work.

My boss has just gone on lunch and I decide to sneak away and try to meet them for a bit.

In the distance I see Adam, Tyler, and a few people from a place I use to work at walking down the street.

Tyler has no shirt on and is drunk swigging from a can of beer. As he passes I hear him singing the Canadian national anthem.

“O Canada, our home and native land!”

I pat him on the back as he passes and say:

“So you’ve become one of those.”

I end up walking up some stairs looking for a toilet. I can see a door with a sign saying:

‘Mens Room’

One more floor up is another door with a sign saying:

‘Mens Room – for sissys’

I go in the first one and go straight to the cubical because I see two suspicious looking men watching me as I walk in.

I hear them talking in what sounds like Russian. I think they’re talking about me and I get scared and climb out the window.

I climb down to a garden and see a woman in a long white dress. I tell her to run because of the Russian men who are watching us from the window.

We hide under a bush but the men see us.

They have all somehow moved down the street and are backing the woman into a corner.

I am far enough away from them to not be able to hear what they’re saying but close enough to see that the men are speaking to her as they slowly walk towards her.

The woman says something to them and both men stop walking towards her, get on their knees and start bowing.

“No way! She’s royalty.” A voice says.

I walk into a shop and two teenage boys are rummaging through a basket of sword handles, signing their name on each one with a black marker.

The shop assistant sees them doing this and asks them to stop.

“You get them for free so we can claim them for free.” says one of the boys confidently.

I feel a rage building. In my mind it feels like one of the boys seems to represent the new generation of internet kids/hipsters that think they have the world figured out and do it their own way; this angers me.

The boy puts one of the sword handles in his pocket and the shop assistant doesn’t see him do it. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to be an uncool adult.

As I walk away he trips me up.

I grab him by the shirt and pull him to the ground. I start punching him in the face repeatedly, I can feel my fist hitting the ground through his head.