Category Archives: Poems

Ass from the past.

I thought I was a genius when I was 16.

I would write something like:

“Absurd slurred words are blurred, heard then transferred.”


Always changing his mind and values.


Now I hate words that rhyme.

I hate lines that flow in time.

What I like now is unnecessarily long sentences that just seem to look out of place.



Are all welcome.

To read and judge.

I don’t give a fudge.

Although I think it will just be me seeing this.

So what’s the point?

Scooby do.

Bip bap a roo.

Do do,  do you?

The ending.

Don’t know how to end this.

Something that links to the first part of the poem.

I don’t know.

16 year old me would know.

He would know the perfect thing to say to tie it all up.

That guy was a genius.


On hold again

We are sorry for the delay, somebody will be with you shortly.

On hold again, to the bank.

My career is on hold.

Studying for a job I don’t want.

Because I need to be good at something.

I’m good at being on hold, but know one needs me for that.

How can I help you?

I hate hearing it, and I hate saying it.

You can help me by not answering, leave me on hold.

At least I can do nothing and still be working.

When you answer I have to speak. When I speak it reminds me I have a shit job.

And don’t call me.

You don’t want my help anyway.

I’m very sorry for answering your call.

For taking you off of hold.

Lead pen

I like to write in pencil.

I must never show my mistakes.

Everything must be perfect.

But I can’t erase my fat belly.

Just Tipp-ex it with a t-shirt.

It isn’t ready for publishing.

You can’t judge the book if the book has no cover.

And no words.

When I speak nothing my words can’t be wrong.

Silence is almost perfect.

And so is my haircut.

Under my hat.